Getting over it
by kittkatt123
Summary: This the sequel to my other story, Bella is raped! Bella struggles with not being able to forget what happened to her, and Edward tries to help her get better in any way that he can, but it makes him more overprotective. Review!
1. Chapter 1

**This is my new story**

**It is the sequel to Bella is raped.**

**The chapters will be shorter than the first story because I am writing this as I go along**

**Also I would like the reviewers to tell me what they want to see in this story**

**I am sorry but I will not use all your ideas but some might and will make it in**

**Thank you**

**The story should start later tonight or tomorrow**

** 33**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/n Okay this is the first chapter I do not own Twilight**

It has been about a week since I have been released from the hospital. Edward treated me more fragile than normal. Alice treated me more fragile than normal. Actually, everyone treated me more fragile than normal. It was stupid and unnecessary.

Everyday of the last week, I have been wearing long sleeves, so I don't have to have people glaring at my arm. The word, rape, which I cut in my arm, was no more noticeable than Edward in a crowd of ugly people.

I don't like this. I wish I didn't cut the word in my arm. It was a really stupid thing to do. I know that everyone is waiting for me to do it again. I'm not, well, at least I don't plan to. The time that I wrote the word I didn't really notice me doing it. So what will happen if I do it again? Would I be put in a hospital?

Jacob had to go to court in a few days. That means I would have to go to, to testify against him. I wasn't worrying about him being innocent because Alice already saw the jury make the call. So, that was good right?

I still cry. Edward doesn't mind. He usually just holds me until I stop, and for that, I am happy for. He knows that I blame myself more than I blame Jacob and he hates it. A lot.

But I don't know who to blame. I mean, Edward told me to not go to La Push, and I disobeyed him. Why did I do that? He knows best. He knows everything. If I didn't go to La push Jacob wouldn't have raped me. I know how he feels about me. I know he loves me. Though, I did not expect him to rape me.

That is another reason I cry, I mean, he was my best friend, and he loved me. What I don't get is, if he really loved me, why did he do that? Edward loves me but he never even touched me like that before. I miss him, well not him now, but the Jacob that I knew before. The Jacob whose smile would lighten up my day, the one that made me happy and made me feel like a child. That one.

Charlie is acting like nothing really happened. For that I was grateful. Of course, whenever he does look at my arm, he might get an angry or upset look. He never says anything about my bad experience though. I am happy with how he is handling this the most and I wish I could tell him, but that would mean I would be the one to bring it up. And then Edward would know I told Charlie and he would get mad at me, saying I need to talk about it.

So, basically I am going mad. I don't want to talk about me getting raped, though I know that all the Cullens are waiting for me to.

It is after dinner, and I just drove my red truck to the Cullen's magnificent house. I walked up the stair case and just walked right in. I expected to see Edward in the wide spacious family room, but he was not there.

I then walked up staircase that led to the second floor and then the one that led to the third. Why does Edward's room need to be at the very end of the house. I was already out of breath.

I knocked and almost instantly the door opened and there stood my angel, the reason for my existence, as beautiful as ever. It seems like every time I see him after a certain amount of time away he gets more beautiful, that my memory does not do him any favors.

This was one of those beautiful moments that when the house was empty, us alone.

He gently took my hand and dragged it to his face so he could smell my wrist. "Mhmm ... you just keep smelling better and better. So very good."

When he took his sniff of my overly attractive blood, I brought my hand to caress his cheek. I brought my lips to his and kissed him with much to force that he was forced to retreat.

He gave me a disapproving look. "How much I love your kisses, we just can't afford to get carried away."

I sighed and rolled my eyes. "Yes, we can."

I walked past him to go lie on the bed and saw that he was reading a history book about Ancient Rome. He took the book, folded it, and threw it on the bedside table.

"So what's on the agenda today?" I asked my perfect angel.

"I was thinking that we could just stay here today. You know, just the two of us." Edward smiled and went to lay next to me on the bed and intertwined our fingers. He picked me up and brought me up on his chest.

"Yeah … that sounds good."

All was silent for a little bit until Edward broke it. "Bella?" His voice was wary, this was not good.

"Mmmm?"

"Bella." He repeated. " I need to talk to you, about something that you promised me."

"What did I promise you?" I asked, cautiously.

"Do you know how you said you would go see a psychologist? Well, Carlisle talked to a woman down at the hospital.-."

"Stop!" I almost shouted, again.

He looked at me surprised, while I tried to explain. "I don't need psychologist. I'm perfectly fine on handling this on my own. So I won't see one."

At this Edward's eyes grew hard and cold. "Bella, I said I wouldn't change you until you go and see one."

**A/N I hoped you guys liked it**

**The next chapter up tomorrow or Tuesday **

**And please if you have anything you want to see in this story… just tell me!**

**And reviews make my world go around**.


	3. I won't do it

_**A/N**_** Hey you guys **

**Here is the next chapter**

**I do not own twilight**

**Reviews make my world go around!!!**

Thanks to Rosanna for helping me with this… 33 

"_Bella, I said I wouldn't change you until you go and see one."_

"I-I know that's what you said, but seriously!" And the truth was that I didn't need to talk to some stranger about something I didn't like to think about, much less tell Edward. I mean, I love him more than anything on this planet, but some things I just like to keep private. Was that really to much to ask?

Edward closed hi eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Bella," he said warily. "You are going to see a psychologist to help you with your problems, and then once he or she thinks you're even semi-okay, we will discuss you changing into a vampire and that is final."

When he finally opened his yes he found that I was glaring at him with the coldest eyes I could muster. "Edward." I tried to keep my voice steady, but I didn't work very well. "I-I can't. I just can't. You don't understand." My eyes filled with tears and they spilled over onto my cheeks, just like many, many times before.

And just like many, many times before, he just held me until the tears stopped. It seems like each time I cried I expected him to say 'Bella, enough!' but he never did. He always took care of me. He was being way to fair to me now that I freak out on him all the time and it's not even his fault. It's just that, I get so mad all of the time and he got me so frustrated on trying to get me to see a psychologist. That just made me cry harder.

"Bella…?" He put his finger under my chin until I looked up into his face so he could read my tear filled eyes. "Bella, you can't expect me to just sit here and tell myself that you're getting better. You're not!"

"Yes, I am … I really am. I feel like I'm getting better." In truth, I only felt worse. Once the initial shock, of my best friend raping me, wore off, I felt like I couldn't control myself anymore.

I pushed on his arm and pushed away as hard as I could. He moved away, just like I knew he would. I moved from my spot on the bed and went to sit on the leather couch. I didn't want to be near him when he was acting like this. I knew he only cared for me, but it felt like he was controlling me. He was telling me what to do. Jacob told me to be still when he first kissed me, and look how that ended.

I felt guilty for even thinking that. Of course Edward wouldn't do something like that. He loved me more than anything and anyone. He would never hurt me. That's why I love him.

He just looked at me from the end of the bed. "Bella, do you want to become a vampire?"

I nodded. "Of course."

"Well, the deal is that you have to be better first." He moved to sit on the edge of the bed, facing me. I could tell that he was picking each of his words carefully. "You have to get your mind better. It can't take the fact the Jacob, your ex-best friend, raped you. Please, Bella, please."

So now he was saying that I couldn't take it. "I can't believe this, Edward. I was the one who was raped! Not you! You don't know if I need to go see a psychologist or not, so let me do this my way.

I wrapped my arms around my knees and buried my head into my elbow

Silence.

Everything was silent. Maybe I was winning this argument.

"Bella?" He asked his voice a little angry.

I still didn't look up.

"Bella?" He repeated, this time a little more sympathetic.

I removed my head from my arms and looked at my boyfriend, but he still didn't say anything.

His face looked sad, and somewhat anxious. He was sitting perfectly still on the edge of the bed. Only his mouth moved when he talked to me. "Bella, you don't get it, not at all. You might feel like your getting better, but I'm not sure because you won't speak of it. You need to talk to someone, you need to set yourself free, make it the past. Bella you need to get over it. I understand that it will take a lot of time, but you won't be a vampire until I say it's okay. I will make you wait as long a necessary."

**A/N I'll just leave it there**

**Hope you like and **

**Reviews make my world go around**

** 33 sorry if it's a little short **


	4. Alice, deal or not deal?

**. A/N Here's the next chapter!**

**Review please **

**I love you Rosanna!**

I still hadn't said anything. I just looked at him and looked away. I knew I was acting juvenile, but I didn't care.

Just when he was about to say something his cell phone rang from his shirt pocket. He glared at me with a stern face as he answered it.

"Hello?" Edward said into the phone. His expression became happy as he listened to whoever it was on the other end.

"I'll tell her, wait, you can… she is right here."

Edward got off the bed slowly walked over to me. He handed me the phone.

I stared at him wordlessly. "Who is it?"

"Alice." He responded, sitting on the couch next to me and put his arm around my shoulder. He didn't hold me tight like he would have before I was raped. "Talk to her."

I put the phone to my ear. "Hi, Alice."

"Hello, Bella, I just wanted to tell you that you are spending the night at our house with Edward!" Her soft musical voice was a bit chipper than normal.

"I can spend the night with Edward?"

"Yes, Charlie thinks he left, and you're alone with me, keeping me company. I phoned him, and he said it was alright with him and not to get into too much trouble. So, are you okay with that?"

"Yes! Gee thanks, Alice."

"Oh, Bella, there is a catch." Her happy voice became a real sullen serious. I looked up at Edward and he gave me a look that said 'Just listen to her, she's Alice'. I laughed at the look.

"What is the condition, Alice?" I asked her warily.

"You can't yell at Edward, you can't, you can't get mad at Edward, and if he wants to have a discussion about the rape, you will listen to him. You don't have to answer all of his questions, but you have to be reasonable, you understand?" Her voice was one hundred percent serious now.

I was mad. "So this is some sort of bribe. I get to be alone with Edward for one measly night if I talk about something I don't want to talk about."

"Yes, that's exactly what it is. Bella, I'm just trying to help you, there's no need-"

"There's no need for me to what?" I almost screamed into the phone. Edward jumped a little at my outburst. "There's no need for me to be so difficult? There's no need for me to have a say in what happens to myself? Just as I was saying to Edward, I was the one who was raped. Me! Myself! Stop trying to help me. I'm perfectly fine handling this on my own. Okay?"

There was silence on the phone; neither Alice nor I said anything. Edward didn't say anything either. I looked at him and his beautiful angel-like face looked at me, stunned. He obviously didn't expect me to scream at Alice. I didn't expect myself to yell at her either. I'm not normally the one who gets mad, but I don't care, if she could get me this mad…

"Bella, can you please put Edward on the phone?" How is she still calm after I screamed my lungs out at her? It was almost like she expected a reaction like this. Then again, she probably did.

I handed Edward the phone without saying anything to either of them. His face was composed but I thought I could see sadness deep within his topaz eyes.

"Hello?" Edward asked Alice, without taking her eyes off of me.

Alice must have said something to make Edward happy. Then he handed the phone back to me.

"What?" I asked Alice, with a little too much attitude.

"There's no need to be rude, Bella."

"Sorry." I said, though I wasn't sorry at all.

"Are you going to take the deal? Or do you want me to call Charlie and tell him that you are going home after all." Alice said, smug.

"Fine, I'll stay. Anything else?"

"Bella…" She thought for a moment before continuing. "Bella, I had a vision. I see you going to see a psychologist on Monday morning and I saw it pretty clearly, so I highly doubt it will change."

This got me mad. I didn't say anything else to her; I just hung up the phone so I didn't have to hear her anymore. I going to see a psychologist on Monday must have been the thing to make Edward happy. He was still smiling, though it was a somewhat sympathetic smile now."

**A/N**

**And ill end it there**

**Please please please review **

**Because they make my world go around**


	5. How about we take a break?

**Disclaimer: I do not own twilight nor any of the characters or Dodgeball.**

**Sorry this chapter took so long to get up**

**So busy!**

"What?" I snapped at him before I handed him back his phone, which he put his jeans pocket. I knew I had no right to be mad at him, but he was happy that I might do something I didn't want to do.

I mean isn't he supposed to be there for me!

No! I wasn't going to the hospital on Monday to talk to talk to some person I don't even know about some problem I was trying to forget.

Instead of saying anything, he laid me down on the couch and held me close to his chest. His fingers were running through my hair mechanically. This seemed to have relaxed me, and then I was happy. I just lay in his arms, not needing anyone but him, I loved it that was.

After a few minutes of silence, I turned my chin up at Edward. "Edward, I'm so, so sorry for the way I acted, I know now that I shouldn't have snapped at you. I don't know what came over me. I'm-"

He interrupted me. "Shh – Bella, it's alright. I understand. If you remember I did go to medical school."

I looked at him in confusion. "What does medical school have to do with any of this?"

"Silly, Bella. We learned about rape in medical school. I know all of the things that you are feeling, and trust me on this, so does Jasper. That's why you need to go see a psychologist. You need to get all your feelings in the right order."

"They're already in order. They're so in order, they're actually alphabetized!" I lied quickly, laughing lightly at my joke. I knew he saw right through my lie, though. He always did.

"Bella…"His fingers lightly traced my cheek.

"Can we just let it go for a while?" I asked Edward. I quickly continued when I saw that he was about to protest. "Please, if we're going to spend the night together. Can we make it between us two, and not us two and Jacob? Because that's what life seems like now."

His face fell a little bit, and I felt bad for bringing Jacob's name up, but I knew that I wasn't going to take it back, not if it worked.

He thought about it for a moment. "How about we forget about it for a while?"

I looked at his face for any sign of indecision, but there wasn't any. "A long while."

A smile crept over Edward's face. "Then, how about we watch a movie downstairs? The house is ours for the night."

That seemed like a good idea to me. We would still be together, but we won't be talking much. "What movie?"

"Anyone you want."

"How about some sappy, really sad chick flick?"

He shrugged. "If that's what you want."

I laughed and he picked me up and a split second later we were in the wide spacious, living room. I walked over to their movie collection and decided on a movie I knew we would both like. _Dodgeball. _I put the movie in the DVD player and went to go sit next to Edward on the love seat.

When I was about to sit down, he gently took hold on my waist and lifted me onto his lap, so I was curled up against his chest. His arms formed a protective cage around me, almost as if he was guarding me from the outside world.

I don't think Edward was paying attention to the movie though. He didn't laugh at any of the funny parts and his eyes were glazed over, like he was thinking of something outside the world of _Do__dgeball._ I didn't bother him because he might want to start talking to me about that shrink again.

There was no way that I was going. No way at all.

**A/N okay that was the next chapter**

**Sorry it is short**

**The next chapter should be up Saturday or Sunday**

**Please review … because reviews make my world go around**


	6. Edward, I said no!

**A/n sorry this took so long**

**I know I promised this yesterday**

**Hope you like it**

What could be more embarrassing than admitting to a stranger that I have been raped? Tell him or her of how it felt to have _heat_ on me. Of how he didn't let me move and hurt me so bad. I didn't even like to think of these details, much less talk about them!

Time, passes, and Edward didn't even move and his breathing came at different time intervals.

"Edward?" I called his attention about half way through the movie.

"Yes, Bella?" His deep gold eyes looked down at me, curiously.

"I'm sorry I was rude to you. I didn't mean to get upset so easily, it's not your fault." I admitted.

He sighed. "I know that, Bella. You're upset easily. Anyways, I know that your not mad at me." His expression looked as though it was slightly annoyed.

"Are you mad at me?"

He thought about it for a moment. "No, love. I think I'm mad at the situation. There could be no way I could be mad at you, not now. I know it's not your fault. I just wish that you could see that it is not your fault you were raped. That was Jacob's decision. Not yours."

"But I should be able to not get mad. I should be able to just forget this. But I can't! I don't why – but I can't. You must be getting really annoyed at me for crying all the time and getting mad … and… and…." I had to stop, I was becoming emotional.

"Bella, stop." Edward cut me off when I was about to continue. "Stop, Bella." He crushed me gently to his chest. "You have nothing to worry about. I am not upset at you. Don't you see that I am trying to help you? That all I want is for you to get better and us to spend eternity together."

I was about to say something but he cut me off, again. "Bella, I love you more than anything, you know that right? I want what's best for you. Even if that is not me. I wish it was. I want to see the blush on your face after I kiss you. Please understand Bella. I. Am. Not. Mad. At. You."

I looked up at Edward and could see in his topaz eyes that he was saying the truth. That he is here for me, no matter what.

"I love you, Edward."

"I love you, too, Bella, more than you can believe. Are you going to watch the movie or should I take you back upstairs?"

I thought about it for a moment. "Please take me back upstairs."

And with that, Edward scooped me up bridal style and started up the stairs at normal human pace. He left _Dodgeball_ playing on the TV, and all the lights on. 

The last set of stairs he ran at vampire speed. The next thing I knew is I was placed on the golden, king sized, bed. 

All of a sudden Edward's face became really serious. "Bella…"

I knew where he took the subject of our conversation to. "Edward, I said no!"

"Bella, just think about it. Think about how much easier it will be for you. To deal, I mean."

I thought about it. "No."

Edward thought about what to say next, as I studied his face. There was anger, sadness, and frustration that lined his perfect face.

"Edward, shouldn't I decide if I want to talk about it?"

"Bella, please, just give it a shot. For me, please?"

The way he pleaded with me, gave me butterflies in his stomach. His beautiful face looked somewhat more gorgeous with the ancient sadness in his eyes. "Edward, I don't know. Give me time to think about it, just please?"

He became thoughtful. "You have until tomorrow morning. Please say yes, though. I will be much better for you if you do."

**A/N hoped you like**

**Sorry a little short again**

**Remember, reviews make my world go around.**


	7. Expensive toothpaste

A/N okay this is the next chapter

**A/N okay this is the next chapter..obviously**

**Guess what everybody? I don't own twilight … surprise purprise!!**

**So read on. And happy Easter!**

_He became thoughtful. "You have until tomorrow morning. Please say yes, though. It will be much better for you if you do."_

I nodded, telling him that I would think about it. I already thought about it for the last week, and my answer had not changed. There is no way at all, but then again Alice saw it, didn't she?

Uhh … this is so confusing. Throughout the last week, there has only been two words I've been thinking, 'Why me?' 

And that is exactly what I asked Edward, "Why me? What did I do wrong? Is this punishment for abandoning Jacob, that time before? Did he want to punish me?"

Edward's eyes became dark. "Bella, trust me on this, you did nothing to disserve this. Nothing at all. As I said before, this was and still is his fault. All of it."

I looked at Edward for a long moment. "Then why do I feel guilty? I feel guilty all the damn time! No matter what you say, I still think it's my fault. You told me not to go there Edward. And what do I do? The exact opposite." Tears were flowing freely now. "I don't understand why you don't hate me; I did exactly what you told me not to do."

Edward ran his fingers through my hair, and put his other hand under my chin, waiting for me to look up at him. When I did he studied my eyes for a long moment. When the moment was up, his face had sadness marked all over it.

"Bella, I asked you not to go to La Push because there are werewolves there. If they transformed and hurt you, I don't know what I'd do. Instead, he raped you. That has nothing to do with being a werewolf. That could have happened with any guy. Don't you see Bella that going to La Push against my will isn't the thing that upset me?"

"I know that, I swear, I do know that. I really don't want to talk about this anymore. Can I go to sleep? I'm really tired." I looked at the clock, and it read 9:30.

Edward looked at the clock to and gave me a look that read 'Really? You have to be kidding me!' 

"No, really I am tired." And I was telling the truth. I was emotionally worn from the day. "Please, sleep?"

"Okay, but you know the rules." 

And indeed I did know the rules. About two days after I was released from the hospital, Edward decided our relationship need more rules. 

All clothes on at all times. 

If something is bothering me about the way he holds me, I have to tell him.

All clothes on at all times.

The minute I want to get away from him, if I'm feeling weird or there are reminders, I have to move.

All clothes on at all times.

Hands above clothes. He is no longer aloud to put his hand on my bare stomach, or my hand on his bare chest

Did I mention? All clothes on at all times.

I hated these rules, they made no sense. Edward said that soon enough, they will make sense. Damn his medical degrees!

I gave him the best annoyed look I could muster, "Yes I know the rules."

"Oi! I need to go home and get some pajamas, and my toothbrush."

"Alice got you a toothbrush here a long time ago, along with some pajamas. The toothbrush is in my bathroom, and your pajamas are in my closet."

I walked to his closet. I just noticed I have never been in there before. I opened it and found that it was just like any other boys closet. There was even two shirts lying on the ground. I laughed out loud.

"What is it, Bella?"

"Your closet!" I turned to him. "Look at it."

He gave me a confused look. "What's wrong with my closet?"

"That's the thing. Nothing is wrong with it! It's like any other teenage boys." 

He laughed at my new discovery. "Go get dressed, Bella. Before you amaze me some more."

I grabbed the pajamas that were obviously meant for me. I went into his bathroom and five minutes later I walked out, with my breath smelling minty fresh. Can you believe that Alice bought brand named toothpaste? It wasn't even Colgate. It still had the price tag on it. 75 dollars!

Thank you Alice!

I sat on the bed next to my one and only love "You know one of these days, I'm going to find something in this house that'll send me over the edge and I'd have to be checked into the nuthouse."

"Would you mind explaining that?" 

"Alice bought brand named toothpaste!"

Edward laughed. "That's Alice for you."

I scooted down to the end of the bed, dragging his arm along with me. "I'm sorry; Edward, but you're not leaving my side tonight."

"I wouldn't want it any other way." He laughed, as I cuddled up against his chest, but he threw a blanket over us, so I wouldn't freeze against his ice cold skin. Though he threw the blanket over both of us, because it was an usually hot day in the little town of Forks, Washington.

**A/N okay I hoped you liked it … and don't forget to review!**

**33**

**Happy easter**

**And I would like some ideas and constructive critisms**


	8. But him and his rules!

Disclaimer: I need Eragon but Christopher is being stubborn and will not except that I need it

A/n Okay .. here is the next chapter

I hope you like it.

"_I wouldn't want it any other way." He laughed, as I cuddled up against his chest, but he threw a blanket over us, so I wouldn't freeze against his ice cold skin. Though he threw the blanket over both of us, because it was an usually hot day in the little town of Forks, Washington._

I looked at the clock and it read 9:45. Oh my god! I was not tired at all. I only told him I was tired to get him to shut up about the psychologist and let me 'think about it'

I looked at his face. He wasn't looking at me. His head was laid back on the pillow and his eyes closed. I could almost say that he was sleeping, but of course he wasn't.

Great job Bella! Now you have to sit here for the next hour or two until you do fall asleep.

And that is what I was planning to do. Until I laid my head back on his chest and noticed that by moving so much, I accidentally made his shirt role up a little bit. His pale perfect stomach was showing up till right below his belly button. And he didn't even notice!

I looked up at his face again and saw that he was still in the same position. His bare skin had a strange attraction to me. I wanted to touch it really bad. To just stroke my hand over it again and again and again.

But him and his rules!

He would surely put a top to it, but once wouldn't hurt, would it?

I raised my hand and just laid it on his bare skin, hoping, praying, that he wouldn't notice. It was amazing how nice his skin felt against my hand, nothing like Jacob's. His was all nice and cold. I loved it so much. More than imaginable.

I needed more of his skin. I moved my hand slowly up is shirt and, not looking at his face, started to rub the coldness.

"Bella!" Edward's voice gave off a disapproving heir.

I froze. "Yeah?"

He lightly grabbed my hand and extracted it from under his shirt, then he straightened out the hem, so none of his skin was showing.

"What are you doing?" His voice was a little strained.

"You used to let me do this all the time." I stated, plain and clear.

"Yes, and now I'm not going to let you do it. Okay?"

This got me mad. "Why?"

He took a deep breath. "I am trying to help you, Bella." That didn't even answer my question.

I got off of him and stood up. "So let me get this right? You are trying to help me by being mean to me. "

I paused, but he didn't say anything. "So, what makes you think that what you are doing to me is for the best? What makes you think you're not actually hurting me?"

"Bella, I told you, I have two medical degrees, and both times we covered rapes cases and what to do. And I have read the minds of several rape victims."

This got me even madder. So I started to scream at him. "SO THEY WANTED TO RELIVE THE HORRIBLE EXPIRENCE IN THEIR MINDS OVER AND OVER AGAIN? IS THAT WHAT YOU SAYING? YOU WANT ME TO RELIVE HIM IN MY MIND. I. JUST. WANT. TO. FORGET."

I stopped screaming at him and waited for his answer. "Bella, please calm down."

Yeah, right. "SO YOU WANT ME TO NOT TOUCH YOU ANYMORE? IS THAT IT? GOD, EDWARD, WHY ARE YOU MAKING THIS SO DAMN DIFFICULT. I TOLD YOU I'M FINE."

I threw my hands up in disbelief. Edward slowly got off of the bed and walked over to me. His hand cupped my cheek. It was only then that I noticed I had walked myself into a corner.

I slapped his hand away. "So you're aloud to touch me now?"

"That's not it Bella, you know that." He made no move to come closer to me.

"You think you know what's best for me, but you're wrong, about everything. In case you haven't noticed, I have been handling things on my own for so long, and I can do it for this to." I stare him straight in the eye. "And I'm not going to let you control this too.

"Bella," He chose his words carefully, his eyes soft. "Is that what you think I'm doing, do you think I'm controlling you?"

I thought about it for a moment. "I know you are." My voice has more acid in it than I intended it to, and his eyes softened in response.

With that I ran out of the room and ran straight to Alice's room, not sure of where else to go. I climbed into her soft lime green sheets and curled myself into a little ball. I knew I was crying and making much more noise than I actually needed to, but I didn't care. Sometimes it felt good to cry.


	9. Bella, get up, your on my bed!

A/M

**A/M okay …I don't own twilight or any of its characters.**

**I hope you like this chapter?!**

**Sorry if it's a little… blahh**

_With that I ran out of the room and ran straight to Alice's room, not sure of where else to go. I climbed into her soft lime green sheets and curled myself into a little ball. I knew I was crying and making much more noise than I actually needed to, but I didn't care. Sometimes it felt good to cry._

I cried myself to sleep. Edward knocked on the door a few times, but I ignored him. I needed him to understand that I need to do this by myself. I am happy that Alice chose the world's most comfy bed, It was very comfortable.

I woke up to someone gently shaking me. "Mmm…Edward." I slapped his hand.

"It's not Edward." A chipper voice responded. Alice.

"Sleep. Go Away." I mumbled turning over.

"Bella, get up, your on my bed, and I'm taking you out for a while." Alice said, she seemed a tad annoyed.

"No. Tired. Sleep." Though I opened my eyes, knowing I wasn't going to win. "What do you want?"

Alice put some clothes on the edge of the bed, along with a towel. "Use my bathroom to take a shower and here are some clothes. I'll wait here."

I didn't' move. "Where are we going?" I asked, suspiciously.

"Out for a drive." She walked over to the dresser, picking out her outfit for the day. Then she turned to me. "You're not getting up, are you?"

I shook my head. Something was up.

She danced over to me and picked me up effortlessly, and a second later. We were in her bathroom. She set me down on the toilet, and turned to the shower, turning it on.

"I'll undress you, if I have to." She commented.

I glared at her and pointed to the door. "Out."

She smiled and pecked me on the cheek. "Be quick."

I took my time undressing; I was going to make Alice wait. I smiled at the thought of her bouncing around, having nothing else to do.

By the time I was finished with the shower and drying off, I noticed that the clothes Alice brought me were still on her bed. I wrapped myself in a towel, and walked into Alice's room and saw the outfit where she left it. I sighed; it was too much, of course.

When I exited the room, Alice was on the other side, looking slightly annoyed, but picked me up and rushed me down the stairs and into her Porsche in two milliseconds.

"I thought Carlisle asked you not to drive this around Forks." I commented as she started the ignition and backed out of their enormous garage.

"We're staying out of public eye, so it really doesn't matter." Alice drove down their enormous driveway a incredible speed. "Actually, I wanted to talk to you about something."

_And I just thought this was a random shopping trip._

"Can't you just have talked to me in the house or later?"

"No, I was anxious to get this over with."

"Well, begin." I instructed.

I watched as the very green trees rushed by our window, we were out of Forks and driving north. She was trying to word her side of the conversation.

"Bella, I have no idea what you're going through. And-"

"That's right, Alice." I interrupted. What was with everyone and questioning me about this? I swear everything would be much easier if we talked about puppies. "Look it, I've have enough of talking about this and want to talk about something else. It seems like all the conversation I've had has been torturous, so please just shut up."

Alice pursed her lips. "Then don't talk. Listen."

She turned towards me, obviously looking to see if I would listen.

I nodded.

"Bella, as I was saying, I have no idea what you're going through, not even close. But you need to understand that Edward is just trying to do what is best for you-"

"Edward doesn't know what is best for me."

She continued as if she hadn't heard me. "And you need to understand that he has no intention to make you feel like crap. Do you hear me? He doesn't want to see you in pain. He should no that of all people. He is hurting a lot, too. Jasper told me. So give the psychologist a shot, for me, for Edward. We will force you to go, if we need to."

"No. I. Am. Not. _Going_. Okay?" I said, my voice filled with attitude.

Alice's eyes turned real sad. I felt so guilty for causing her that pain, but she spoke before I got the chance. "We'll see, Bella, we'll see."

I looked out the window and noticed that we were going up the Cullen drive. "That was a fast ride." I said in surprise.

"Well, I think you need to talk with Edward now, and I didn't want to keep him waiting." Alice commented.

She drove right into the garage and stopped almost instantly, throwing me against my seatbelt. Alice chuckled.

"That wasn't funny, Alice. That hurt a little."

"There won't even be a bruise." Well, at least Alice was back to her happy self. She sighed. "Just think about what I said, Bella."

"Okie dokie." I climbed out of the car and made my way to the Cullen mansion. As I walked in with Alice by side, I saw Edward sitting in the couch, watching the morning news with Esme.

Before I could say anything, Edward was in front of me, giving me a hug. I hugged him back.

"I think we need to talk." I whispered to Edward, not meeting his eye.

**A/N a mini- cliffy / please don't hate me**

** I wonder how many reviews I get this time?**

**Because they make my world go around**


	10. Do you trust me?

As I walked in with Alice by side, I saw Edward sitting in the couch, watching the morning news with Esme

**A/N I do not own twilight**

_As I walked in with Alice by side, I saw Edward sitting in the couch, watching the morning news with Esme._

_Before I could say anything, Edward was in front of me, giving me a hug. I hugged him back._

"_I think we need to talk." I whispered to Edward, not meeting his eye_.

Not waiting for him to see if he agreed with me or not, I walked up the stairs a little to fast to be called a walk. When I got to his room, he was right behind me. I didn't know what to say, so I waited for him to speak.

It seems like he was determined to do the same thing, because the silence stretched. The silence was becoming really uncomfortable, as I said, "Hi"

A light, teasing smirk came across Edward's face. "Hello, to you too, Bella."

He grabbed my hand and led me over to his, _ours_, king size bed. It was made up, like no one slept in it last night. Then I remembered that no one did sleep in it last night. I felt instantly guilty.

I scooted over to the middle of the bed and wrapped my arms around my legs. "I want to talk to you."

"You already said that, Bella. Now what do you want to talk about?" He was cutting to the chase.

"You love me right?" I already knew the answer to this question, but it was important to remind him so.

"Yes, of course, Bella, more than anything."

I took in a deep breath. "And you know that I love you, too, right?"

"Yea, Bella, I do know that."

"And you trust me right?" This question I didn't know the answer to. He was silent for a long time, when I decided to add, "Tell the truth, please."

He was silent for a few more moments. "It depends on the situation."

His words stung more than I thought they would. My eyes began to water, but I pushed back the tears. I had to be strong and prove to him that I can handle this on myself. I took another deep breath.

When I let the air out, said in the straightest voice I could muster, "And do you trust me with myself? Do you trust me to know my own needs?"

He had to think about this for a minute too. "No, not in all situations."

"Can you give me an example of a situation you don't trust me in?" I asked, though it sounded more like a demand.

"I don't trust you to know what you want anymore. I don't trust you when you're alone. I don't know what'll happen if I'm not there."

_Wow, was he truthful!_

Though, that did hurt me, so much more than I could ever tell him, I did not let my face show any emotion. "So, you don't trust me on my need to not have therapy?"

His face became very vulnerable and had hints of ancient sadness. "No, Bella, I don't trust you in that area." He got up and put on a CD in the stereo, and hit the play button. The song that came on was my lullaby. "Do you know why I wrote this? What it was that inspired me, about you?"

I shook my head, suddenly relaxed by the sounds of the familiar tune. "That you love me?"

"Yes, that certainly has a large part." He smiled as he slid back next to me and laying us both back on the bed, with me snuggled up against his chest. "But another reason I selected some of these keys was because of your gentleness and your innocence."

I looked up at Edward, curiously. "But my innocence was taken away."

Edward smiled sadly at me. Then, he started to play with my hair. "No, not really, Bella. Don't you see? You think your innocence was taken away from you, but if you still want it, you can still have it. You didn't want what he did to you. I know your not going to accept that right off the back. But you have to understand. A few trips to the psychologist would do you more than you expect it too, if you let it."

I sighed. No matter what he said, I was not going to change my mind.

**A/N that's it sorry, my dad juat called and I have to talk to him**

**33 please review with ideas**


	11. This is for the best

A/N Here's the next chapter

**A/N Here's the next chapter**

**Hope you like it**

_Edward smiled sadly at me. Then, he started to play with my hair. "No, not really, Bella. Don't you see? You think your innocence was taken away from you, but if you still want it, you can still have it. You didn't want what he did to you. I know your not going to accept that right off the back. But you have to understand. A few trips to the psychologist would do you more than you expect it too, if you let it."_

_I sighed. No matter what he said, I was not going to change my mind._

After our little discussion about our lullaby, we said no more on the matter of me going to a psychologist, and it scares me a little. He must be planning something to make me go.

And guess what day is today? Monday. The day I was trying to get away from. I turned around, flopping onto my stomach. Of course, Edward was with me.

"Are you awake, Bella?" He whispered, softly.

"Mhmm." Well, at least I tried to make a coherent sentence.

"You have to get up now." Edward chuckled at my inability to speak.

"What time is it?" Ha! Now I can speak.

"9:30. Your appointment is in an hour." He said.

"School!" I hurried up and jumped off of the bed, luckily not tripping over anything. I felt a cold arm wrap around arm waist. "Let go of me! We are so late."

"We're not going to school, Bella. If you remember, you have a very important appointment today." He said with caution.

"I'm not going, remember." I said stubbornly.

"Yes, you are." A higher voice said from the corner of my voice.

I turned around. Alice, of course.

Before I got to say anything, Alice continued. "Would you like me to dress you, Bella, because I will?"

I gave her the maddest glance I could muster, but it didn't look like she was going to back down, and there was no way I was going to let her dress me.

I walked to my closet, and heard Alice behind me. "Now, meet us downstairs, when you're done."

I gave an angry huff, but made no other notice that I heard her. Great now Alice was coming, that means it would be harder for to… escape? That also means that if I do find a way, I have to act quickly.

Everything that morning happened in a blur. I remember being told to get in the car. I remember refusing. I remember getting lifted up by Edward. I remember punching and screaming on his back. I remember him ignoring my struggles. I remember him buckling me into his Volvo. I remember him leading me into the hospital. I remember him asking for where the psychologist's office is. I remember him leading me past the stairs, into three different hallways. I remember him opening the door to an empty waiting room. I remember him going to the girl behind the behind the bullet-proof glass, saying "Isabella Swan."

Then I was told to go right into the office and wait for the doctor to see me. "He will be in there in about five minutes." The girl behind the bullet-proof glass said.

Edward led me to the door. I also noticed that Alice wasn't in the same room. "Where's Alice?"

"She went to go see Carlisle." He said. His eyes focused on mine, waiting for me to look at him. When I did, he sighed. "Remember, Bella, this is for the best. It will help you more than you can know." He kissed my forehead.

"I can't believe you're making me do this!" I proclaimed, stomping into the room, and, slamming the door behind me.

I looked around; it was actually quite a nice room. It had a red couch like you see in all the movies. And the windows we open, letting in the nice warm air. For once it wasn't raining. The bookshelves carried hundreds of books about god knows what. **(picture in profile)**

Then something caught my attention. A way out! Open window. First floor. Easy drop.

I ran to the open window, swinging one leg over the side, and then another. The drop was easy. But the hard part was the fact I landed on my wrist, and felt it twist the wrong way.

That couldn't be good.

I looked at my arm, sitting on the ground, it hurt, but I don't think it was broken.

Then I heard a door close in the doctor's office, at the same time Edward and Alice came beside me.

"Where is the patient?" I heard the doctor ask herself.

**A/N I hope you like it …another chapter**

**But now I really do need suggestions on what to do next**


	12. Room 252

A/N I don't own twilight

**A/N I don't own twilight**

**Im not the one to have the awesome dream that one night.. Stephenie meyer was**

**Please review and tell me what you want to happen**

_I looked at my arm, sitting on the ground, it hurt, but I don't think it was broken._

_Then I heard a door close in the doctor's office, at the same time Edward and Alice came beside me._

"_Where is the patient?" I heard the doctor ask herself._

The doctor quickly left the office, finding that no one was actually there, and she must have made a mistake. And that just left me with two greater problems.

Alice and Edward both looked at me with vicious glares. Not the whole 'I'm about to kill you look' but the 'What the hell is your problem, Bella?" look.

I didn't really know what to say and I know they were waiting for me to explain myself. I picked myself up off the ground. "I think I hurt my wrist."

Finally, Edward sighed, "Let me have a look at it."

I nodded and held out my wrist. He took it and ran his fingers down across it looking at it closely. "I think it's just a sprain, but Carlisle should still look at it."

Then, finally, Alice spoke up. "Bella, how could you do something so stupid? God, why couldn't you have just stayed in the office, like you were supposed to?"

I shrugged, keeping it very blasé. "I just didn't want to."

Alice gave me a death glare, and then turned around, starting to walk away. _Did I actually win this one?_ "I'm going to go tell Carlisle to go to room 252. It'll be empty for the next three hours."

Edward nodded once. "I'll be there in a few minutes with Bella."

I sighed, and started to walk the same direction Alice went. When I took the first two steps past Edward, his arm formed an unbreakable grasp around my wrist. "Not so fast."

I didn't want to look at his face, knowing the disappointment lined every single one of its perfect features, so I just looked down at the ground. "My wrist hurts, can't we please just go get it fixed."

"Not until after you talked to me." Edward raised his eyebrows, daring me to object.

"What to you want me to say, that I'm sorry? I won't, because I'm not. Why I did it? Well, you already know the answer to that question. Why I won't talk to anybody? Maybe because it's not anyone else's business. Are you happy now?"

"Not especially. But that's not what I wanted to know. I wanted to know why you won't let yourself heal. Why you won't give this a shot?"

I thought about it for a few moments coming up with no answer. But I still knew that this was the thing that I needed to do. I needed to keep this to myself, and not let the world know that Bella Swan got raped. "I don't have an answer for you."

Edward nodded, and took my good hand, and led me into the hospital's front entrance. It was a long silent walk. Though, it was not uncomfortable.

He led me up a flight of stairs, down a hallway, and into a door on the left. The number said 252. Carlisle was inside, and luckily Alice wasn't.

"Good morning, Bella, Edward." He nodded at each one of us in turn. "Alice told me you hurt your wrist?"

"Um, yeah, sort of, I fell wrong." I went with the short version.

Edward sighed. "She fell trying to climb out of a window, trying to avoid her appointment. And fell on her wrist I believe. Is that right, Bella?"

I merely nodded. "We just think it's a sprain. Nothing to worry about."

Carlisle smiled. "Hop on up on the bed here. And I'll have a look at it."

Edward picked me up and walked me over to the bed type thing near the wall, and we both sat there with me on his lap.

Well, it turned out it was just a sprain. And in the middle of Carlisle wrapping it up in gauze, Alice burst into the room. "I'm sorry, Edward, The psychologist has appointments for the next four day. The earliest day I could schedule was Thursday, okay?"

Edward sighed, seeing more of the ancient sadness. "I don't see a better choice."

Alice gave me a sad glare, "The windows will be closed that day okay, Bella?"

I swallowed, nodding.

**A/N im sorry its short**

**But that's all for now**

**I hope you like it**

**Can you guys please review and tell me what you want to happen next?**


	13. Take a seat

A/Ni do not own Twilight

_**A/N**_**i do not own Twilight**

_Well, it turned out it was just a sprain. And in the middle of Carlisle wrapping it up in gauze, Alice burst into the room. "I'm sorry, Edward, The psychologist has appointments for the next four day. The earliest day I could schedule was Thursday, okay?"_

_Edward sighed, seeing more of the ancient sadness. "I don't see a better choice."_

_Alice gave me a sad glare, "The windows will be closed that day okay, Bella?"_

_I swallowed, nodding._

Thursday was already here. The days moved by with little talk with me and Alice, and only small talk with me and Edward. Not that I really minded. I mean, we were with each other all the time, but we just talked really little.

I was woken up by butterfly kisses on my cheek and neck. I didn't mind, I moved my head to give him more access while he chuckled slightly. "Bella, need to get up."

"Mmm ... how do you expect me to get up when I lie in bed and I get this." I responded.

And then he stopped. He pecked me one time on the lips and said, "Up, I'll be down stairs, don't me to long." And he was gone.

I got up, gathered my clothes and toiletries and walked into the shower. After I was all done, I walked down stairs and there was Edward with a pan of pancakes going.

"You know, I can just feed myself." I sat down at the table.

"Yes, but Alice saw you talk to the psychologist today, and I decided you needed a reward." This darkened my mood. He put down the pancakes in front of me. "Trust me Bella, it'll be fine."

I just ignored him, while I dove into my pancakes; they were actually sort of good. When I was done, Edward left and came back with my coat. "We'd better get going."

I grabbed the coat, and stomped my way down the driveway, and got into the passenger seat of his Volvo. Edward got in the passenger side, and turned to me. He cupped my chin with his perfect, pale, hand and waited for me to look up at him. "Bella, I love you more than anything else, you know that, right?"

I simply nodded. "Let's just go."

In about ten minutes, we were in the hospital parking lot. I got out and felt rain drops splash on my head, and started to walk to the entrance door, not waiting for Edward. We walked the same way down the hallway, and ended up in the same waiting room. I could swear that it looked smaller. Edward walked to the same receptionist before and stated my name.

"Oh, yes, Isabella, the psychologist is right in there." She stated, not looking away from Edward and his perfect features. When I did not move, Edward grabbed me around the waist and led me to the door. "If you let this, its supposed to help, Bella."

I nodded and turned the doorknob. Inside was a fairly young lady, with high cheek bones, curly brown hair, and grayish eyes. She _looked_ kind enough.

She looked towards me, and smiled. "Hello, why don't you just take a seat right here?"

That was it; I'm actually going to sit down here and have to listen to her talk to me. My final plan was up. Now, what am I going to do? I nodded and sat down, on the red couch, crossing my legs.

"Your name is Isabella Swan, right? Do you like to go by anything shorter, like Isa perhaps."

I couldn't find any real trouble in answering this question. It's not like my name has answers all over it. "Bella, I like Bella."

"Bella, that's a pretty name. And why do you think you're here today?"

Uh-oh. What do I do? Not answer. Lie. Run. The latter sounded like the best idea for me, but I decided to go on ahead and not answer, sounds like the easiest thing to do. And plus, I get to prove Alice wrong.

When I didn't answer, she continued. "You have a boyfriend, one of the Cullens, I believe, how do you feel about him?"

Now this question couldn't do me any extra harm. "Edward, I love him more than anything, thus him being my boyfriend." I said a little sharp.

She grabbed one of the notepads and pens off the desk and started to take notes. "And do you think he loves you back?"

"Yes, I know he loves me back." See, no harm, we're not even talking about my rape.

"And you live with your father? Chief Swan? Would you say he has a big influence in your life? That you really look up to him?"

How did Charlie have to do with any of this? I couldn't see the harm in telling her this little bit of info. "Yes, I live with my father, I wouldn't say he is a big influence in my life, but people say I am a lot like him, and I'm not sure if I look up to him."

She nodded and wrote something else down. "And your boyfriend, Edward, how much time do you say you spend with him?"

What does this have to do with anything? "Um … just about everyday."

She nodded and wrote something else down. I wonder what she thinks of me. Does she think I'm a freak?

"So, would you say that these men are big parts of your life? What about women?"

"My mom lives in Florida, and I'd have to say, that my friend Alice is the biggest female influence in my life."

She nodded but didn't write anything down. "What about friends? Who are you closest with?"

I was about to say 'Jacob' but then I noticed that I wasn't his friend anymore and he wasn't mine. When I remained silent, wrote down a few lines worth.

"So are you having difficulty with you friends?"

I ignored her.

"What is the trouble with them?"

Silence.

"How does Edward feel about this?"

My hands started to shake.

She sighed, "Bella, I promise, whatever is said in here is confidential."

I nodded.

She paused for a second, and wrote something down.

"Bella, what did your friend or friends do to you?"

I responded to this one. "I don't have a friend that did anything bad to me. Okay?"

With that I got up and walked to the door of the psychologists office, When my hand was on the knob, I turned around, "At least not anymore."

**A/N I hope you liked this one. **

**As you can see Bella is starting to open up a little more.**

**But is still afraid to let her feelings get the best of her.**

**Please review**


	14. You disserve some closure

A/N hey you guys

**A/N hey you guys..its been a while…. Sorry for the delay**

**Reviews make my world go around**

_I responded to this one. "I don't have a friend that did anything bad to me. Okay?"_

_With that I got up and walked to the door of the psychologists office, When my hand was on the knob, I turned around, "At least not anymore."_

I stalked out of the office, though I did not slam the door behind me, which gave me some credit, right? I found Edward leaning against the far wall with a nervous look on his face.

"Is that it for today?" I concluded that he already knew the answer.

I merely nodded, walking to the waiting room door. When I noticed that Edward wasn't following me, I turned around. "Are you coming?"

"I'll meet you at the car." I could tell that he was going to get me another appointment. "You go on ahead."

I nodded, walking through the doors, and down the hallway, through the parking lot and by his car. I leaned against the right side back door.

A couple of minutes later Edward showed up, walking through the exit, toward me. When he finally got to me, he leaned one hand on the left side of my head.

"Are you okay?" He asked me, concern obvious in his eyes.

I nodded, not really wanting to speak very much, not having much to say. When he noticed that I wasn't going to say anything, he said, "How about I take you out for pizza, for at least talking a little bit?"

I nodded again. I ducked under his arm, and opened the passenger door. When the door was open, he helped me inside and walked around to his side. "So where do you want to go?"

I named the place, knowing that the blush the pizza gave me will make him happy, and besides the pizza is really good there. He smiled at me, knowing that I chose it to make him happy.

The car ride was silent, and I knew that he was biding his time, thinking about how he was going to approach the topic of me going back. I don't know what I am going to say, though. I was a little tired of the both of us constantly at each others throat over something so small. I'll figure out a way to get out of this, maybe it won't be so hard.

Edward walked to my door and opened it, helping me out. "Do you want the regular? Just plain cheese?"

"Yes, one small cheese pizza, with extra sauce though, I think that's what gives me the color in my cheeks." I smile a little, at the thought of him staring at my red cheeks.

He chuckled a little. "I thought you didn't like it when you blushed in front of me?"

"No, correction, I don't like that I am embarrassed in front of you. I do seem to do embarrass myself all the time." I walked over to a booth in the very corner, waiting for him to order the pizza.

A few minutes later, he was scooting into the booth next to me. I didn't like being across from him so I got out of my side, knowing that he was confused. He smiled when I slid in next to him, lying against him. He put his arm around my shoulder.

"What's going on in the mysterious mind of Isabella Swan?"

I sigh. "I want to go see Jacob."

This catches him off guard." W- what?"

"I want to go see Jacob; I want to go see if he is still my friend, I want to see if he is still the old Jacob from before. What if he changed?" I turned towards him, and see him with the old poker face on.

"Bella, he hurt you so bad. I want to kill him, and if I even get a glimpse of him, I'm not sure if I'll be able to stop myself."

"Then I'll ask Alice to take me, and Jasper can keep us calm." He doesn't say anything. "I thought one of the key factors in healing is forgiveness. I though that I had to get some closure. Please?"

He looks at me. Stares deep into my eyes. "Bella, I'm not sure if he can be forgiven."

"Well, then shouldn't I try and figure that out for myself?"

He stared into my eyes some more. "Bella, are you _sure_?"

"More than just about anything!"

He breathes out, "Okay, you're right, you do disserve some closure. I will allow you to go see Jacob."

**A/N Well.. tell me if you thought It was okay**

**I didn't like it very much**

**But ow well**


	15. I'm so sorry, Bella

A/N there are only a few chapters left

**A/N there are only a few chapters left**

Alice and I were walking into a nice waiting room of a jail. Actually, it is Jacob's jail. Not in the sense that he owns it, but in the sense that he lives there. For now. I don't know how long they want him to stay there.

I remember Alice coming running out of the mansion with a shocked look on her face. She saw what I wanted to do, and I knew that she didn't know if that was a great idea. "Are you sure this is a good idea, Bella?"

I told her that it was, and she hesitantly agreed to come with me, but not wanting Jasper to come because of the dread feeling in the place.

So here I am, waiting for my name to be called. Alice is not coming with me into the room, and for that I am grateful.

Alice patted my hand. "It's not too late to back out of this, you know?"

I nodded, "I need to know why, Alice, I need to talk to him. I need some bit of closure."

"Isabella Swan." He bored middle aged woman said from behind the desk. "If you could please go through those doors with the selected security guard and follow him into the room."

I stood up and a security guard walked over to me. "I will have to take you to a room to make sure you have no drugs or weapons on you, and then you can see your inmate."

I followed him through a pair of double doors and through a door on the left. The inside a tan door to the left halfway down the corridor.

"Please empty your pockets on the table, and then I will pat you down." I took out my car keys and the twenty bucks that were in my pocket. He then came over to me and told me to stand spread out against the wall. When his hands grazed my breasts, I let out a little squeak and turned around.

"Excuse me, but you have to stay against the wall." He said this while examining my breasts. "So if you'll just turned back around."

"C-can't you j-just not." I blushed. "I really don't want you to. I promise I'm not hiding anything."

"Sorry, but you just aroused more suspicion, so it's either this or you go back to the waiting room."

I thought it over in a split second. It's either I take the padding along my body from a complete stranger, and see Jake. Or I do neither.

"Okay, just make it quick, please, I really don't like you touching me like this."

The whole time he padded me down I could barely keep the scared squeaks coming from me. There were tears in my eyes, but I wouldn't let them fall. When he was finally done, he said, "Okay, you can turn back around now. Your inmate," He looked down at a piece of paper. "Jacob Black will be in here soon. Take a seat."

I did as I was told; this was the first time I looked around the room. It was all white, fairly small, and it only held one table a four chair. It was quite a boring room.

Just then, the door opened and in came the same security guard with Jacob. His face looked so guilty. He was wearing an orange jumpsuit like you see in TV, and other than that he looked so _worn_. His hands were handcuffed around the back.

"You both have forty-five minutes. I will be standing outside the door, and whatever you say will be recorded. If either one of you want to leave earlier, let the lady come get me. Understood?"

Both Jacob and I nodded, and he went behind Jacob and unlocked him, and left, without another word.

I looked at Jacob and he looked at me. This was the first time I saw him sense that fateful night. The night that changed my whole life. The night that seemed to have ruined me. but it seemed like it was years ago. It seemed like just by seeing him, I seemed a little happier. _Why am I happier?_ I can't be happier, that doesn't make any sense.

He looked at me, not knowing what to say, but knowing he would have to speak first. "Hi."

I gave him a weak smile. "Hi, Jake. How are you?"

"Not so good, Bella, not good at all." He didn't say anything else, and neither did I. When he noticed that I wasn't going to talk he started again with a question. "Why did you come here, Bella?" His voice was like a child's when he knew he did something wrong.

"I wanted to know …a few things." Was it to late to run from here. To get away from all this. But I couldn't I had to stay strong.

He took a deep breath, "What did you want to know?"

I gazed at my folded hands in my lap. "I wanted to know why? Why you did it?" Tears started to automatically fall down my cheeks, but I didn't bother to wipe them away. "How could you do that to me, Jacob? I thought you loved me. How could you do something like that to someone you love."

I heard Jacob sniffle, and I looked up. There were tears streaming down his face. "I don't know, Bella. To tell you the truth, my emotions just got the best of me. I-it was h-hard for me, t-to know th-that one day I would loose you. I knew that I-I would l-loose you s-some d-d-day and I-I-I just w-want-ted s-s-ome part…" I couldn't understand much after that. I was crying to loud and so was he.

He was in pain, so much pain that I didn't want him in. Sure, I wanted him to suffer a little, but I didn't want him to suffer this much.

Once we both composed ourselves, we spent plenty minutes in silence. "Are you saying that I deserve this for not wanting you instead of him?"

There were still tears streaming down his face, and he was still breathing heavily. "No-no of course not Bella, this was my entire fault, and I feel so bad about it. Even worse now that I will be getting of here in a few days."

This stunned me. "What a few days? You've only been here for a week, isn't the sentence for… for" I lowered my voice. "A few years."

"Bella, in my condition, it is too dangerous for me to be here. Too many human's are in danger. I nearly killed one so far. This is jail, it is normal to get angry. But when I get angry…"

"You change." I took a deep breath "Your going back to the rez?"

"You must really hate me." Tears streamed down my face.

"No, I don't hate you." Anger filled up in me. "I just don't know what to do anymore Jacob! I don't know what I'm feeling! DO YOU KNOW WHAT I HAVE TO GO THROUGH FOF THE REST OF ETERNITY! DO YOU? You took what was Edward's. Do you know how important our virtue was to us? DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT YOU DID?! ANY AT ALL?"

All the pent up anger I have been feeling over the last few days was finally getting out to the person it belonged to. The person who made this anger.

"Bella." He whispered my name, full sobs erupting from his chest. He wasn't shaking because he was not mad. He was guilty and gloomy. "I'm so sorry, Bella."

"AND THEN THEY JUST LET YOU OUT EARLY!! YOU DON'T EVEN GET PUNISHED FOR THIS."

"Bella, I do get punished. I get community service. 2000 hours. I'm under house arrest, unless I'm working as a protector."

"YOUR STILL A PROTECTOR! WHAT ARE YOU PROTECTING? YOU ARE A MONSTER YOURSELF! Not for being what you are, but because of what you did."

We sat there for a few minutes in silence. "I am a monster, Bella, your right, that's exactly what I am." His voice had a lot of pain in it.

I took a few minutes to calm myself down. "Maybe that was a little to harsh, maybe-"

"No, Bella, I am a monster. I have been one since that day months ago. The day of the movie."

"Jake, please, I didn't mean it. You just made a really bad choice." Why am I protecting him like this? Why am I trying to comfort him?

"I hurt you, Bella, I hurt you so much. How could you want to make me feel better?" His tears had stopped.

My voice became really vulnerable. "I don't know. But I know that you're not forgiven, Jacob, but I don't hate you. I know I don't hate you."

We were both looking down.

"You should."

"I don't."

The security guard came in. "I'm sorry, but your time is up." He turned to me, while he was reapplying Jacob's handcuffs. "He will be leaving here tomorrow, so this was your last visit day."

With that, I gave Jacob a small smile and I got one back.

**A/N There it was extra long.**

**Tell me if it was ok please.**

**I had no idea what to write **

**Since I never went to a jail or anything like that**

**Shinu is fricken sexy**


	16. It makes sense

A/N I do not own Because I said So, nor twilight

A/N I do not own Because I said So, nor twilight

Though I would love too!

So stephenie.. if you ever get bored?...you know what to do!

_My voice became really vulnerable. "I don't know. But I know that you're not forgiven, Jacob, but I don't hate you. I know I don't hate you."_

_We were both looking down._

"_You should."_

"_I don't."_

_The security guard came in. "I'm sorry, but your time is up." He turned to me, while he was reapplying _Jacob's handcuffs. "He will be leaving here tomorrow, so this was your last visit day."

With that, I gave Jacob a small smile and I got one back.

The walk was short back to the waiting room, where Alice was, looking anxious. I knew that she just didn't like the blindness she was experiencing. She turned her head towards me and gave me a small smile. "You made it out of this alive."

I gave her a small smile and nodded. "Let's get out of here so you can _see_ again."

She did look relieved at the thought of getting to know the future once again. The ride home was silent and I knew that she was wondering what our conversation was about. The wide-eyed look she gave me, made me wish I could get out of the car. Alice obviously wanted me to come out and tell her what we were talking about. But that wasn't going to happen.

Finally, we got to Charlie's house. It was about lunch time and Charlie was at work. That just left me and Edward together. At least I thought, until Alice followed me into the house. "What are you doing, Alice?"

"Edward is not here yet, and I thought that I'd keep you company until he shows."

"You're stalking me, aren't you?" I asked.

"No really, we're not, but I am concerned that you might fall to pieces after what you went through. So, I thought I would stay to comfort you for the next hour."

I nodded, knowing that I wouldn't be falling into pieces and that I would be lonely for the next hour, so…. Why not, right?

"What movie do you want to watch? … Ohh.. Great choice. Nice chick flick." She obviously saw my answer. She walked over to the remote and scrolled through OnDemand, till she reached to movie Because I said So. I smiled, I have been wanting to see that for a while.

Alice face lit up. "I heard it was a good movie, and I really like the actress Lauren Graham in it, she's so pretty. I'll order the pizza while you watch the credits."

102 minutes later, and Edward still hadn't shown up and the movie was over. Alice decided to leave then, and told me Edward would be here in fifteen minutes, and that I would be fine.

The ending scene of the movie was a little bit more graphic than I would have preferred. **(A/N for those of you who have not watched the movie, the mother has sex at the end.)** But it did get me thinking. I have been feeling crappy lately. Well, I have been feeling more crappy than I have ever remembered feeling, except for the time when Edward left me for months. But I have him now.

It also got me thinking about sex in general. I don't know because I'm a virgin, but isn't it supposed to make you feel better? Isn't it supposed to make you feel like nothing else matters, except for the both of them.** (A/N I don't know if this is true, because I am only fifteen, and I never really done anything like this, at all.)**

And that's what I wanted. I wanted to forget everything. I wanted to just focus on Edward and I, that's it, just the two of us. I wanted to experience it differently. I mean, I had sex with Jacob, why can't I make love to Edward, right? It makes sense.

That's what I decided to do. I would ask Edward to make love to me. I would ask him to be with me in ways we had not done before. What he will say to it? I have no idea.

That's when I felt two cold arms wrap around my waist and a body slide underneath me. "Hello, Bella, how was your trip to jail?"

I smiled at him. "It was actually quite…ummm…" I thought about it for a moment. "It was fulfilling, I guess, does that make sense?"

"Yes, love, that's a good thing." He kissed the top of my head. "It's only two o'clock, do you know what you want to do today?"

A small smile crept on my face. "Actually, I would like to talk to you."

This caught his interest. His eyes looked a tad bit brighter. "Does this mean that I get to look in the head of the mysterious Bella Swan?"

"Umm… sorta. Can we sit up while we talk?"

His face was extremely curious while he sat up and sat me next to him. "What would you like to talk about?"

I took a deep breath, and exhaled in a big gust. "You know I love you more than anything else ever, right?'

"Yes, of course."

"And you love me, right?"

"More than anything."

"And you want me to get better, right?"

"Yes, Bella, I want you to get better, and you will." His voice was beginning to sound cautious.

"And… what would you do to help me, if you can?" I started to pick my words carefully.

"Anything… within reason. What do you want me to do, Bella?" He looked me straight in the eyes; I looked away quickly, noticing a blush arising in my cheeks. I haven't naturally blushed in a while and I knew that he'd like it. It made me smile a little.

My voice was barely a whisper. "I want you to make love to me."

**A/N Is that an evil cliffy?**

**This story is almost over**

**A few more chapters**

**Or maybe a couple**

**Click the button that says submit review.**

And tell me what you want to see in the next chapter


	17. This is not you talking

A/N I do not own twilight

**A/N I do not own twilight**

**review**

_Anything… within reason. What do you want me to do, Bella?" He looked me straight in the eyes; I looked away quickly, noticing a blush arising in my cheeks. I haven't naturally blushed in a while and I knew that he'd like it. It made me smile a little._

_My voice was barely a whisper. "I want you to make love to me."_

He stared at me, almost as if he saw a ghost. He just kept staring at me with the same surprised expression for several moments until he gathered himself together.

He still didn't say anything though, so I took it upon myself to speak up, "Well?"

A took a deep breath and put his hand to my cheek. "Bella…" His voice held ancient sadness along with his eyes.

"What's your answer, Edward?" My voice broke with emotion when I spoke his name.

Instead of answering, he picked me up and lifted me onto his lap. He kissed my forehead and held me close to his chest. I grabbed the collar of his shirt, pulling on it lightly. "Edward?"

"I have no idea how much pain your in, Bella. I don't think I ever will. But you have to understand-"

I interrupted him. "Edward, I want this, more than anything. Please?" My statement was rushed with urgency.

"Bella, you don't want this. This is not you talking. It's the rape."

I gulped. Maybe he was right. But I don't care. I _needed_ this, more than anything. Except for being changed into a vampire.

He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Not today, Bella."

I was mad. My breathing got heavier and I ran upstairs. I heard him call my name, but I ignored him. He didn't want me. I was rejected by the love of my existence. When I got to my room, I collapsed on my bed and dug my head in the pillow. For some weird unknown reason I didn't feel like crying. I curled into a little ball and tried to get my breathing back to normal.

There was a knock on my door, but I ignored it. Then there were some more knocks and I ignored them to. He didn't want me. I heard the door open and close so quietly that I know if I had not been paying attention I would have missed it.

I ice cold hand started to comb through my hair, quietly. I guess he was waiting for me to come around. Though I stayed in the same position I was in and did not move, pretending that he was not there. Every once in a while he would kiss my hair, or whisper my name.

After a few minutes, when I have calmed down enough, I turned around, to face the wall and not him. "Why don't you want me?"

"Bella, I want you. I want you, too, please believe me on that. But you're broken right now, and I can't hurt you any more."

I turned towards him. "You're not going to hurt me. I know your not." I argued, and it's true, I don't think he can hurt me.

He took a deep breath. "Bella…"

"No!" I was mad, he had no argument but he was still denying me. I mean, he said he wanted me! So, why not? It'll make me feel better, wouldn't it? "Sex is supposed to make people feel better, right?"

"Bella, that's not true, you know that. Look at yourself." His eyes got really soft, while he brushed my cheek with the back of his hand/

"That's not the same thing and you know it!" my breathing was becoming uneven again.

His voice turned stern. "Bella, no. That is my final answer."

I sat up next to him. "Edward, take off your clothes." He raised his eyebrows at me, but did not do what I wanted. "Edward, now." When he didn't move, I moved my hands to the collar of his shirt. It did surprise me when he let me undo the first button, just watching me. And then the next button and then the next. He just sat there with the same eyebrows-raised expression.

When I finished with his shirt, he let me slide it off his shoulders. But when I went for my shirt, he grabbed my wrist and pinned them to my side. "No."

I pointlessly struggled against his steel grasp. "But… but-"

"No, Bella, I can't, I'm sorry, but I can't hurt you even more than you already are. When you are better… maybe. We'll see if your ready, okay?" There was no hint of

"No."

"Yes, Bella, yes."

If I did it with him when I'm better, will it be the same? Worse? Different? I need him. "When I'm better?"

"Yes."

**A/N that's the next chapter. **

**Lol**

**review**


	18. I'm giving myself a headache!

The night went by sort of slow, nothing special happened, but that's the way Edward wanted it, then fine

**A/N This is the next chapter**

**I would just like to take the time to thank all my reviewers, for …well reading and reviewing**

**I cant believe how many people like my story**

The night went by sort of slow, nothing special happened, but that's the way Edward wanted it, then fine. I'd go along with it. I will get better before I make love to him, because sex should be special, both people should want it. Both people should be happy. Trust me, the other way, with only one person not happy, is not the way to do it.

I woke up to someone softly shaking my shoulder. I mumbled intelligibly, rolling over.

"Bella, you have to wake up. Today, we're going to school." I could sense the smile in his voice.

"No, sleep." I mumbled, trying to shake off his hand that kept rocking me.

"And then after school, you're to go to the hospital with me." He said, as I rolled over, giving up but cuddling up to him.

I nodded. "Okay, I'll go, but I won't be happy about it." I rolled over so I was basically on top of him. Once I realized where I was, I stood up quickly, trying not to remember having someone on top of me. Then, I remembered, it's Edward, and would never hurt me.

He picked me up and sat me at the end of the bed; somehow he crossed my legs, so I sat Indian style. "Go have your 'human minute'. What would you like for breakfast?"

"Nothing, I'm turning anorexic." I walked off to the bathroom with my bag of toiletries and my clothes for the day, which I laid out of the rocking chair.

After an awakening shower and getting dressed, I made my way downstairs. Sitting on the table was a big bowl of Lucky Charms. With milk to the side, just how I liked it.

I ate quietly, while Edward looked out the window deep in thought. "What's up, Edward?"

He looked to me, surprised out of his staring state. "I really am sorry about last night, how bad did I hurt your feelings?" He went straight to the point.

"Not as bad as you think, I don't know, maybe a little." In truth, knowing that I was going to make love to the man that I loved, hopefully soon, and he wanted me to be happy, made my feelings better.

He raised his eyebrows at me. "Really?"

I nodded, "Really, just knowing that someday…" I smiled a little.

The day passed by fairly quickly with Edward by my side. I kept thinking about how I wanted to have sex with him. But the thing that really confused me is that why do I want to have sex with him? Aren't people who have been raped want no intercourse at all. No matter whom the person is? Then, why do I want him? Why am I feeling something I shouldn't feel? Am I really that abnormal.

Before long, he was walking hand-in-hand with me to his Volvo; he opened his door for me, and got in himself. When I noticed that we weren't going to my house I remembered. The hospital. Way to put a gray cloud on my day.

He must have sensed my depression, because he gave my hand a squeeze. "It'll be okay, Bella."

I nodded. "Yeah."

Before I knew it, we were in the waiting room, and my name was being called by the psychologist to enter the room.

I gave her a sad smile as she waited by the door. She returned that smile with one of her own. I sat on the red couch, and waited for her to speak.

"So, Bella, how has your week been going?"

I shrugged. "Okay, I guess."

She grabbed a notepad and pen from the table beside her and started to write down a sentence or two. "Is there anything you would like to talk about? Right off the back?"

I thought about it. Was there anything I wanted to talk about? I wanted to talk about Edward a little and how I wanted to have sex with him, but why would I talk about it to her? Why would I even talk to her!? I don't know her. She doesn't even know what is wrong with me. At least I don't think she does. I mean, she could be acting, right? She could be trying to make me admit that something is wrong with me. But I did need to talk to someone. But Edward is the other room, and he can definitely hear. But we will be married someday, so that wouldn't matter very much, right?

Gosh, I'm giving myself a headache.

"Yeah, but I'm not sure if I'm sure I do." Does that make any sense? Wait! I just said I wanted to talk about my problems to a complete stranger. Huh, maybe I did want to talk to someone who knew nothing about me. Someone that I didn't care if she judged me or not.

"You can talk about anything you want to, honey."

I nodded trying to gather my thoughts. "Do you know what happened to me?"

She nodded. "Yes, I do, but I like my patients to say what they want to say. I only found out because your little friend, Alice, told me that."

I took a deep breath. "I've been raped."

She nodded and wrote down a few more notes. "And what is it that you want to talk about?"

I wanted to talk about my feelings toward Edward. How I wanted him. But, would I really admit that? "Umm… my boyfriend, Edward, was really mad, when he figured out what happened. They never really got along much."

"Mmm…" She wrote down a few more notes. "And who are they?"

My voice was barely a whisper. "Edward and Jacob."

She nodded, writing down a few more things. "And Jacob was the one who raped you?"

I nodded, not trusting my voice.

"Go on..."

"And Edward was really mad, when he found out. He couldn't stand the fact that someone he hated put his hands on me. Hurt me."

"What about you what couldn't you stand?"

"The same thing, and that I was saving myself for Edward and Edward specifically, and Jacob knew I didn't love him. And that he took the one thing away from me that kept me to Edward."

She wrote down a few more notes. "So you can't stand the fact that you're not completely Edward's anymore?"

I didn't know what to say. Maybe that was it, but than that's just selfish. When I spoke my voice was so weak and small. "I don't know."

She nodded, but she waited for me to talk.

I didn't speak; I didn't want to say anything else. I already opened up to much. I hate to open up to much. When I open up I get hurt.

Minutes passed by us in silence. She waited until I was ready to say more, but I didn't. Finally, she walked over to her desk and put her notepad in a draw. "I think that would be good for today, Bella, but please make another appointment for anytime you want." She walked over to the door, and opened it for me.

I nodded and went out the door to see Edward standing there, looking cautious. I ran up to him, and wrapped my arms around his waist. The hug seemed to last forever, and I tried to put a lot a feeling into it.

"I love you, Bella." He whispered into my hair.

I said I loved him, and then released the hug. "When is my next appointment for?" I know he already made it.

**A/N this story is almost over, another chapter or two**

**Sorry**

**Please review**

33 katie


	19. I cry a lot

A/N I do not own twilight

**A/N I do not own twilight**

The next few appointments went by the same. I would start talking and then when it thought I said too much, I would just shut up and silently curse myself for saying stuff I didn't want to talk about.

I basically talked about it with her to have Edward be happy, and Edward being happy makes me happy. I thought I was getting better, and I am sure Edward did too. Well, I thought that until I would breakdown again. Edward handled it like, well, him. He would hold me until I stopped crying, rub my back soothingly, or comb his fingers through my hair. I think it makes me feel better to have him there for me, and after a while, I felt completely comfortable crying and sobbing into his shoulder or chest.

I was making pork chops for Charlie, with Edward in the other room watching the game to fill my dad in on what had happened, when I called Edward into the kitchen.

"Yes?" He said when he got to the door, leaning against it casually.

"Can I ask you something?" I asked hesitantly.

His eyes narrowed and his face was full of caution, but I knew he would reply by saying I could ask him anything. And that was exactly what he said.

"And you promise to tell me the whole truth and not spare my feelings?"

He nodded once, "Where are you going with this, Bella?"

I knew he was thinking about the time I tried to get him to sleep with me, but this wasn't anything like that.

"I just wanted to know something, that's all." I said as I put the pork chops in the oven.

He raised an eyebrow to indicate for me to continue.

"How do you feel? I mean, I have been so wrapped up in how this whole… well, you know… has affected me, that I was so conceded that I wasn't once there to hold you-"

He pulled me into the living room and sat me on the couch facing him on the other side of the sofa. We were both sitting Indian style. "Bella, this happened to you and not me, there is nothing to worry about. I'm fine, upset, but fine. I know that you didn't want any of this to happen, and maybe I do want to tear him to pieces, but I'm not going to, because I know that would only hurt you more. That is why I love you so much, you can feel all of this, and still care about me. You can be strong enough to care about someone else but yourself. You actually forgave that son of a B so soon after it has happened. You forgave him, and I never will. The grief you feel, is a thousand times heavier than mine, and your dealing with it a thousand times better than I am."

"No, I'm not. I still cry a lot, and it's been weeks!"

"It's been three weeks, Bella." He clarified.

"I cut my arm." I held my arm up, where you could see the faded word 'Rape' on my arm.

"That was the day after, Bella, give yourself some credit, I didn't even know what was going on." His eyes had deep concern clear in them.

I went back to my original argument. "I cry a lot."

"And that I what to be expected, Bella, something precious was taking away from you. Jacob is in jail. He hurt you more than I can imagine. Bella, you have to give some time. It usually takes people years to get over their rape."

"I don't want this to last for years." My voice broke in the end.

"It'll get better, Bella, that I promise you." He kissed my forehead. "I really hate seeing you like this. I guess you will be back to normal in no time. You know, that I really am impressed with your progress right?"

"My _progress_?" If I can remember right, I don't even talk to the psychologist.

He seemed to know where my thoughts were headed. "But you still talk to her." He stroked my cheek lovingly.

"Not well." I mumbled.

"I don't think you notice, but you talk more and more, with each session." He watched my eyes grow big. "Bella, that's a good thing."

"I don't know…"

"It's going to help you get better."

I nodded. "You're right. After each session, I do feel a little bit better." I smiled slightly at the thought.

"I love you, Bella, more than life itself. And I'll be with you until your better. And for the rest of eternity after that."

"You promise?"

"I promise."

**A/N One more chapter.a**

**Please review**


	20. Stay with me forever

**A/N Okay, the last chapter**

**Please please please review**

A few years later

I am already a vampire, and have been for a few years. I have been past my horrible new born stage, when all I wanted was blood. There is no word to describe how horrible it was. Sometimes I sat in the corner and just rocked back in forth with my head in my hands, because I knew that I could easily go out and find a human, but I didn't want to hurt anyone. Edward worried about me at those times; he said that no one had it as bad as I did. So it was guessed that my sensitivity to blood was brought over into my next life.

It took me years to get myself accustom to drinking animal blood, or even liking it for that matter, but I never slipped up, not once.

Edward promised me that we would have sex after I was over my rape. And I am over it. Have been for a while, but I asked him to hold on until blood was not on my mind, 24-7. He changed me, about a month after my last therapy session, thinking that we would have sex soon after. Not anyone in the family thought that I would be extra sensitive to the blood, that it would make me cry out in pain, when I was not even near a human.

But after about four years, I at least didn't have blood on my mind all the time, and was happy that I didn't dishonor the Cullens and find a human to hunt. They said that they were proud of me all the time.

And last night we had sex for the first time.

I still had my head on his chest, curled up next to him, as I had been for hours. Still staring into his eyes, his gold eyes. Last night was heaven. There is no way to explain what it felt like.

Him on top of me, our bare skin touching. Him seeing if I was alright over and over again. Him making love to me in a way Jacob did not. He was not rough, not at all. He was gentle, the way he caressed me was indescribable. He held me like he loved me. he kissed me with more love than I could imagine. The way he looked at me, was with adoration and hesitation, rather than greed and lust.

He was hesitant the whole time, not trying to scare me, not trying to hurt me, not trying to remind me, not trying to upset me. Nothing he did made me upset. This was between me and him, no one else.

It was perfect.

As the sun climbed up, across the mountains, he said the first word said in hours, "Good morning, love."

I finally looked away from his eyes, sitting up, making sure the red silk sheets still covered me, and looked around. We rented a whole inn for the both of us, to give his head privacy, to have no voices in his head. The room was a romantic room. Not the type with hearts everywhere, but the type that gave you a cozy feeling because everything was such a nice soft rich color. The bed had red silk sheets, and there was a large window, that showed the mountains, different colors because it is fall. The walls were a soft pink, and there were pictures of the ocean, and flowers.

The word that I cut into my arm was no longer there, sense my transformation fixed me up and made me look as beautiful as the rest of the Cullens (except for Rosalie, of course).

I thought of Jacob often, and I called him once, a year ago. He had imprinted on my human-time friend Angela. I can't believe I didn't introduce them before. If I did then, we both would have been happier. He was still extremely sorry about what he did to me, but he got help and so did I. Angela knows what I am, and she found it alarming at first, but she came to terms with it.

Rosalie and I have been getting along better sense I turned into a vampire. She talked to me about the time she was raped and I guess that is how we connected, by getting raped by someone we love. Her ex-fiancé and my best friend.

Alice, well, she still Alice, and so is everyone else. When I was first changed into a vampire, they made sure I was okay; they kept me out of trouble.

"Yes, your right, it is a good morning; it couldn't be more beautiful outside." I smiled at him.

He took a deep breath, "Bella, about last night…"

I waited for him to continue.

"Are you okay, did it bring up to many ...reminders?"

"No, Edward, I'm over it. I'm okay, really."

Even though the scars on my arm are gone, I know that being raped would stay with me forever.

**A/N **

**Okay… that's the last chapter**

**The reason why I made Bella extra sensitive to blood is because in a lot of other stories, she is always immune, so I wanted to make it a little bit better.**

**Please, please review and tell me how you liked both of my stories. **


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